Write & Grow Rich

Great writing gets more sales, keeps customers loyal, and saves money, writes John Shreeve, Plain Words copywriting consultant.

If you’ve read “Eats, Shoots and Leaves” by Lynne Truss you’ll know how important good writing is – especially in the business world. The runaway bestseller argued the case for good grammar and punctuation, but also stressed the need to be clear and concise.

Unfortunately, as Truss pointed out, most business writing is convoluted and verbose, making it difficult to understand. Disastrous if you’re trying to win a new client or sell a product.

Truss is not alone in slamming business writing. Jane Simms, former editor of Financial Director and Marketing Business, says: “Most business writing is so riddled with jargon, euphemism and obfuscation that it is either wholly incomprehensible or vague and meaningless.”

Much business writing does seem to opt for long, complex sentences when short ones would be better. Here is a prime example:

“Should you have any queries regarding the above-mentioned matter, please do not hesitate to contact the undersigned.”

Phew! That took a long time to say something as simple as:

“Please contact me if you have any questions.”

In fact, it took precisely seventeen words to say what could have been said in eight.

Another example of overblown writing, this time from an educational establishment, was cited by the Plain English Campaign:

“High-quality learning environments are a necessary precondition for facilitation and enhancement of the ongoing learning process.”

What they could (and should) have said was:

“Children need good schools if they are to learn properly.”

Remember Eisenhower

Why do so many business writers prefer to use difficult words and write long, meandering sentences? The answer is simple: consciously or unconsciously the poor business writer is out to impress the reader and has forgotten that they should be communicating with the reader. For them, using bombastic language and convoluted sentences makes them appear more learned and intellectual.

But this is a big mistake and only serves to have the opposite effect. Before putting pen to paper, all writers would do well to remember President Dwight Eisenhower’s description of an intellectual as “a man who takes more words than is necessary to tell more than he knows.”

Lost sales

The ultimate losers of using convoluted and overblown language in business are companies and organisations. A recent survey found that one-third of City analysts couldn’t tell whether the chairman’s statement in a selection of annual reports was positive or negative. In another, three-quarters of a consumer sample said they would be more interested in saving if they understood what financial services companies were trying to tell them.

Which means – you guessed it – lost sales. The fact is, if potential customers can’t easily grasp what your product or service is, in simple terms, they won’t buy it.

It isn’t just the financial services’ industry. Look around the Internet and you’ll find lots of firms selling software, which looks great, but you can’t quite work out what it will do for you. High-tech firms are infamous for so-called “geekspeak” – writing that can turn simple ideas into sprawling, linguistic mazes.

Here’s an example: “This will give us a multitier architecture that’s low maintenance, flexible and robust.” Now the translation: “The technology is useful, flexible, and it won’t break.”

If software and high-tech firms described their products and services in simple terms, people would understand what is on offer, and they would bring in more business.

Is the web to blame?

According to experts, the Internet is to blame for making business writing worse. “E-mail made a writer out of every person in the organisation,” says Linda Vanderwold, of Sacramento communications firm VanWrite. “But it hasn’t made them better writers. If anything, it’s made them worse.”

Vanderwold conducts an average of 50 seminars a year to teach businesses how to boost the bottom line by editing the written one. She makes no bones about it: good writing generates sales, keeps customers loyal, and even saves money (by cutting down calls to technical support and other help lines, for example).

Other commentators say writing styles haven’t caught up with today’s technological advances, which are forcing businesses to redefine how they communicate.

“The old writing models are outmoded in the 21st century,” says James McElroy, an English professor at the University of California.. “We write these chubby paragraphs that emphasise the writer’s ability to use big words and long sentences. But these days, the reader becomes more important. Good business writing asks, ‘What do they need to make a decision about my product or service?’”

Write for your reader

His thoughts are not new. They echo in an old maxim from advertising copywriting, which goes:

“Write for your reader. Use the word “you” a lot. And tell them exactly what is in it for them – in clear and concise terms. If you want to make a sale, they must know exactly what they will get from your product or service – what it will do for them.”

In the end, the secret of good writing is about writing for your reader and not for yourself. You focus on the result you want from your communication – be it a sale or to get an idea across. This means putting your ego aside and writing in the simplest, crispest terms possible. You won’t win any awards for being an intellectual. But you will win more clients, more orders, and your ideas will get heard and noticed. In other words, you will write and grow rich!

June 1st, 2004
Plain Words Editorial